How to live my life to the fullest

OK, so I don't actually know how to do that. I try, but I don't think I'm accomplishing it.

I want to take each day slowly, and savour the moments.
But being a college kid, especially in culinary, doesn't really let you do that. Its always go, go ,go, go ,go. and then sleep.

So two months in and I'm already feeling burnt out. I feel like if I do have spare time, I should be planning for my next rotation (finding recipes/plating designs), or working on various projects due in 1 month, or two months time.

I'm basically feeling stressed out, and unhappy. And the fact that I'm too busy with stupid school to have a social life, with people here or at home or across the country/world, makes me feel more unhappy.

And in respect to relationships, I would love to live with no regrets. To make contact/do what my heart is telling me. But then I'm too scared. Scared I'm wrong, and I'll embarrass myself, and make things awkward.

So I don't really know how to talk to people any more, because I'm worried I'll look like an idiot, or I just don't have the energy to put into trying to have a conversation.

Blah! I hate winter. It starts cooling off outside and I get in a really bad mood

And this was completely random, and strange. And pretty much just my brain over flowing. Sorry

Kismet

True Love Waits
"In a world that constantly bombards us with impurity and immodesty, we feel called to take a stand against what the world is telling is acceptable. Especially in the area of clothing and modesty. We believe that God has one perfect man already chosen for us; therefore we have no need to worry ourselves in searching for him. When the time is right we know God will bring us together. In the meantime we are not hiding in a closet avoiding all males. We are still living our lives, just without the pressure of having to have a boyfriend."
-Barlow Girl


I discovered this quote in my Holman Student Bible on Sunday morning. We were reading from 1 Thessalonians 5:1-22. But at the top of the page, relating to Chapter 4:1-8 was this side note. This bible is actually full of quotes from Missionaries, Religious Leaders, and Christian Bands. It also has stories of Missionary trips, and World Views on selected text. As well as dozens of pictures, maps, timelines, and 2 page background description before each book.

Anyways, I really felt led to read this quote, plus the passage that went along with it. It really spoke to me, and was what I needed to hear right now. I have really been focusing on the opposite sex and trying to force something that maybe isn't supposed to be right now. I think that this is a very important thought for any female, single or in a relationship, to read, remember, and apply.

10 Things I Hate/What I Like About You

Things I hate about the island

• Silly recycling that nobody really understands
  
• They let you on for free, but you have to pay to leave
• It rains. All the time.
  
• The bus schedule is near impossible to figure out
  
• The strange accents the Islanders have
  
• How I don't really know anyone here

Things I like about the island

• The fact that cruise ships are docked in the port right now
  
• $2.00 lattes
  
• It only takes 3, maybe 3.5 hours to drive accross the entire island
  
• Rate of crime is at, like, 1%
  
• Having only seen maybe 5 police cars the month I've been here
  
• Dishwashers named Roberto
  
• The fact that I'm completely surrounded by water
  
• How if I actually think about it, I know more people than I think

So, are you coming?

To the funeral of my blog, of course.

Yes, yes. You're right. It really isn't dead yet. But almost.

Of course I realize I could save it.

But I just don't know if I want to. Life has gotten busy, and will be getting busier.
I feel that in the three weeks we've been on the island, I've already changed. I think I need to change "this" as well. It just doesn't feel like me anymore. I don't even know what "me" is right now. It feels like I got to school, eat, read, sleep, repeat.

I feel like I don't have time to be a human. Or the energy. Just a student for now.
I don't have time to find enjoyment in each day. I just go, and do what I'm told.
I bought two cd's acouple weeks ago. Still haven't listened to either of them.
I brought the Wii. Haven't even played it.

I feel like I'm living on coffee, and junk. Real groceries are too expensive.
And I know that's what makes me feel sick and tired all the time.

And all of this adds up to feeling lonely.
I don't know who I am, or the type of person I want to be (because I could reinvent myself).
I don't have any energy, or time to think about making friends.


And this has just turned into a giant blog of compliants.
When really, I have so much to be thankful and happy for.

But I think I'll leave that for my thanksgiving day post. because I won't be at home, surrounded by the people I'm thankful for.....

Anyways....So if you would like to chat sometime, make my life less sad :( just kidding lol. But yeah. Just text me up, buttercup

I think I'm dumb, do you?

Mr. Brown can moo, can you?

How now Brown cow?

Unique New York

Scotch. Scotch. Scotch.

Yeah I'm done. Finnished. Finito

With everything.

Well not really, things are just getting started

And it's about to get so much worse.

Well not really worse, just crazier- busier.

And now that we're almost at the three week countdown, I'm getting very nervous.

I don't want to start cramming my life into 3 or 4 suitcases, it will make it too real.

I can totally see myself hurrying to pack on the second. And then forgetting stuff.

Do you want to do it for me?

Oh, wouldn't it be great if we had suitcases that packed for us...Yeah I guess those would just be robots or AI...

Well then, I think I'll just be going now. Now that I'm dumb