So here it is. This is honestly how I am doing.

My life has become boring as of late.

I just get up and work. eat. sleep. rinse & repeat.

I do the same thing everyday.

I don't wake up eagerly. Nothing to be excited about.

I feel....stuck. Going nowhere.

I need a change. Something needs to change.

But now I have a full time job...which actually means I'm lucky to get 2 days off a week.

So now I'm just alive..not living. Just existing.
And most of the time, I feel alone.

Which is remarkable, as I live with my sister and have a boyfriend, a large family, and friends.

But it feels like everyone else is living, a busy life. And they don't have time for me.

Which makes me think "What's the point."

In everything. In doing anything anymore.
Bleh.

But maybe I'm just being a whiny, selfish, attention whore.

Maybe I need to start thinking positively.

Being thankful for what I have.

Choosing happy, everyday.

And not living my life for someone else.

Living everyday for me. Doing whatever makes me happy.

Because (and this is really hard to admit) but I think that at some point, this crossed the line from "love" to "obsession".  And I don't want to be that girl.

I need to relax. Take a step back.

I do love him (are you reading this? I do love you)

But, and I think he'd agree with me, I put too much effort and attention into him and the relationship.

Or maybe not...Maybe I am doing this correctly.

Relationships are hard.