Food is so unnecessary.
Its nutrients that our bodies need, vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates, proteins.
Not food per se, but nutrients.
Food has become such an obsession with our times. An addiction. Its gluttonous
Just give us what we need in capsules and lets move on with our lives. It would save so much time.
Get rid of this food=art crap that's going on.
People shouldn't be so worried about what they're going to put in they're mouths.
And if you can't give us nutrient rich, food replacing capsules lets cut out the crap and go back to the basics.
No more ridiculously priced, 2 bite, 6'' tall sculpture of "food". That's not food, that's a rat race to do better than the last guy.
Get rid of the processed, frozen, deep fried, ready-in-5-minutes (or less) garbage, that so many people consider "food". Nothing about that is nutritious.
Give me a plate with a meat (real meat, not some soy based meat alternative), starch, and fresh vegetables.
The healthy stuff. Simple stuff.
Not dressed up with a crazy sauce or intricate garnish.
Sure, for most people a large part of the eating experience is visual. If its look good, looks interesting the more they'll like it.
But not me. I just want my nourishment without the bells and whistles.
I don't care what it looks like. As soon as the delicious smell wafts up to my nose it triggers a memory in my brain. Of another time when I had this or something like this. and I know it was good.
Eating is a part of life. A small part that is necessary. But so many people have started to idolize it, and it's disgusting.
You should be eating to live, not living to eat.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
This is the difference between living and not living
Charlottetown is such a beautiful city this time of year. Especially at night. So much going on, yet I still feel peaceful walking the streets. I slip out of the house, grab a coffee and wander. Letting the darkness cover me, feeling completely alone but still safe. I inevitably end up at the water front, after meandering down thin and sloped streets. Through crowds of smiling, happy families leaving the Mack after a show. Brushing past the guys headed to the bar. Around the loving couple, consumed by love. And that guy sitting on the curb. I pass by him, and my step slows slightly. He reminds me of the one I left behind, the one person I wish was experiencing this with me.
But yet, I want to be on my own right now. A single being in a city of thousands, a ghost that no one really notices. Alone with her thoughts and coffee. I can feel the chilly air biting at my skin, but it makes me more alive. And the closer I get to the water, the less people I pass by. Farther away from the busy restaurants and closer to solitude. Away from the bright, sparkling lights and alone with the seagulls and lighthouse. As I sit and stare out at the water and lights my thoughts are racing, but seem to slow down at the same time. Its a surreal feeling, being alone in the darkness. Hearing the water lapping at the rocks, begging me to strip off my clothes and slide in. To feel again, the sting of cold night water on my skin. And the night water is a persuasive thing, tempting me with memories of how good it feels. Even though I know its a bad idea.
So I just sit. And stare. And think. Closing my eyes, I take a deep, cleansing breath and look to the heavens. But even though I feel miles away from the city, its light still blocks out the stars. And I'm left staring at a blank black sky. Shades of grey and blue almost visible. I look to the left, see the dock for the ships vacant. The massive vessel that just occupied it gone into the blackness, not leaving a trace. And past that, in the distance is the bridge. Lit up with vehicles constantly making their way to somewhere unknown to me. And it makes me wonder why I'm alone out there, surrounded in this beauty. While people rush by, only existing in this world. Not living, just being. But we're all going to make it through each day, get old, and die. Whichever way we choose to live.
So what's the purpose of life? What's the point of being here? Why am I here? Am I just a pawn in something bigger than all this? Does none of what we do really matter? Is this all just a dream? Is this living? I'm not sure. All I know is that I want to live, to experience, to feel, with Him. Maybe that crazy, over popular, British band had it right. All you need is love. Right now love is what keeps me grounded, keeps me going and anticipating each and every new day. Love gives me something to look forward to. And maybe nothing else matters.
But yet, I want to be on my own right now. A single being in a city of thousands, a ghost that no one really notices. Alone with her thoughts and coffee. I can feel the chilly air biting at my skin, but it makes me more alive. And the closer I get to the water, the less people I pass by. Farther away from the busy restaurants and closer to solitude. Away from the bright, sparkling lights and alone with the seagulls and lighthouse. As I sit and stare out at the water and lights my thoughts are racing, but seem to slow down at the same time. Its a surreal feeling, being alone in the darkness. Hearing the water lapping at the rocks, begging me to strip off my clothes and slide in. To feel again, the sting of cold night water on my skin. And the night water is a persuasive thing, tempting me with memories of how good it feels. Even though I know its a bad idea.
So I just sit. And stare. And think. Closing my eyes, I take a deep, cleansing breath and look to the heavens. But even though I feel miles away from the city, its light still blocks out the stars. And I'm left staring at a blank black sky. Shades of grey and blue almost visible. I look to the left, see the dock for the ships vacant. The massive vessel that just occupied it gone into the blackness, not leaving a trace. And past that, in the distance is the bridge. Lit up with vehicles constantly making their way to somewhere unknown to me. And it makes me wonder why I'm alone out there, surrounded in this beauty. While people rush by, only existing in this world. Not living, just being. But we're all going to make it through each day, get old, and die. Whichever way we choose to live.
So what's the purpose of life? What's the point of being here? Why am I here? Am I just a pawn in something bigger than all this? Does none of what we do really matter? Is this all just a dream? Is this living? I'm not sure. All I know is that I want to live, to experience, to feel, with Him. Maybe that crazy, over popular, British band had it right. All you need is love. Right now love is what keeps me grounded, keeps me going and anticipating each and every new day. Love gives me something to look forward to. And maybe nothing else matters.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Friends?
Let's start another not-so-cheerful blog post with the definition of the word "Friend".
Hokay, so.
Dictionary.com tells us:
"–noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile."
Right...
Urbandictionary.com, you're up:
"People who are aware of how retarded you are and still manage to be seen in public with you. People who make you laugh till you pee your pants. People who cry for you when one of your special items disappear. When you don't have enough money to get a ice cream, they chip in. Knows all of your Internet passwords. Who would never make you cry just to be mean."
"A friend is someone who doesn't screen your calls. He/She is also someone who tries to stay in touch despite an unfathomable distance between you and him/her."
"A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.
A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.
A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.
A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.
A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.
A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower."
Well, I hope some of you actually read all of that. How many people in your lives would you actually call "friends" based on those definitions? How many Stalkbook "friends" are actually people you regularly talk to, hang out with, or ever want to spend time with. For some people I doubt it would be more than half. So many people have ghosts of friends lingering on Stalkbook. People they went to some form of schooling with. Someone they worked with for a year, six months, a summer. A friend of a friend you met once upon a time at some random party. Never to talk to again. But these ghosts still are a part of your Stalkbook lives. They're still able to see what''s going on in your life, look at pictures, but never actually talk to you or spend time with you. Isn't that creepifying and weird? But then again, maybe Stalkbook isn't that big of a deal. Or maybe you like having 500 "friends" because it makes you seem popular?
And I bet by now, you're asking if I have a point and if I plan on getting to it sometime soon. Yeah, I do. And I am.
Right now, according to Stalkbook, I have 178 "friends".
Bullshit. I call bullshit. (pardon my french)
On a weekly basis I would probably talk to maybe 10 (not on stalkbook chat). I'm starting to feel like I lead a small lonely life. But, then I realize, I'm not lonely. Well kinda. But not really. I have a wonderful boyfriend, and a couple close friends. Most of these close friends happen to be my sisters, but they are still 2 of my best friends. And I would much rather be this close, to this small amount of people than have 500 "friends" that I don't really know.
This all started tonight when I was cleaning out random junk in my room. I came across my high school year book, and it kinda depressed me. My senior year of high school, and I was like a ghost. Sure, I didn't want to be there and for the better part of the year I was working most of the time. But still. Other than the class/grad pics, maybe 5? And because its a small school a lot of people were in there dozens of times. And then I looked through my class picture. 1 person I live with, 1 I was lucky enough to reconnect with over the summer, 1 is in France and I do my best to stay in touch with her, and the rest? Nothing. Ok, for the most part I couldn't care less what they're doing. But really, some of these people I knew for 13 years. 13! That's a majority of my life. We used to see each other 5 days a week, 10 months of the year, for 13 years. And now? Nothing.
So I kinda blame my lack of friends on graduation. But, you're thinking! Adrienne, didn't you have all last year in Charlottetown, at a new school? What about those people? Well, again I blame graduation. Most all of them have left the island, or I lost contact with them in the 5 months I was in Manitoba.
I seem to have such a hard time making friends, and I'm not sure why. I think once you get to know me I'm friendly, and funny, and like able. But I'm so shy when I don't know people, and most of the time I expect them to make the first move. Which doesn't always happen. So I end up, sitting at home. Blogging. And maybe its just because its seems like I've moved around a lot in the past year or so, that its hard to actually settle anywhere and make friends. Because I always knew I would just be leaving again soon.
And I want this to change. But yet again, in 7 months I will be moving again. Back to Manitoba somewhere. Either Brandon or Portage, depending on variables. So really, what's the point in making a bunch of new friends here. I have Allison, and Tim, and Mike here. That's good enough, right? No, I know its not.
Bleh. If I could change one thing about me, I would honestly give myself more courage. I care too much about what people think of me/if they're judging me. Is courage the right word? I dunno. Maybe just self esteem. Do you know where I could pick up some of that?
Hokay, so.
Dictionary.com tells us:
"–noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile."
Right...
Urbandictionary.com, you're up:
"People who are aware of how retarded you are and still manage to be seen in public with you. People who make you laugh till you pee your pants. People who cry for you when one of your special items disappear. When you don't have enough money to get a ice cream, they chip in. Knows all of your Internet passwords. Who would never make you cry just to be mean."
"A friend is someone who doesn't screen your calls. He/She is also someone who tries to stay in touch despite an unfathomable distance between you and him/her."
"A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.
A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.
A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.
A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.
A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.
A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower."
Well, I hope some of you actually read all of that. How many people in your lives would you actually call "friends" based on those definitions? How many Stalkbook "friends" are actually people you regularly talk to, hang out with, or ever want to spend time with. For some people I doubt it would be more than half. So many people have ghosts of friends lingering on Stalkbook. People they went to some form of schooling with. Someone they worked with for a year, six months, a summer. A friend of a friend you met once upon a time at some random party. Never to talk to again. But these ghosts still are a part of your Stalkbook lives. They're still able to see what''s going on in your life, look at pictures, but never actually talk to you or spend time with you. Isn't that creepifying and weird? But then again, maybe Stalkbook isn't that big of a deal. Or maybe you like having 500 "friends" because it makes you seem popular?
And I bet by now, you're asking if I have a point and if I plan on getting to it sometime soon. Yeah, I do. And I am.
Right now, according to Stalkbook, I have 178 "friends".
Bullshit. I call bullshit. (pardon my french)
On a weekly basis I would probably talk to maybe 10 (not on stalkbook chat). I'm starting to feel like I lead a small lonely life. But, then I realize, I'm not lonely. Well kinda. But not really. I have a wonderful boyfriend, and a couple close friends. Most of these close friends happen to be my sisters, but they are still 2 of my best friends. And I would much rather be this close, to this small amount of people than have 500 "friends" that I don't really know.
This all started tonight when I was cleaning out random junk in my room. I came across my high school year book, and it kinda depressed me. My senior year of high school, and I was like a ghost. Sure, I didn't want to be there and for the better part of the year I was working most of the time. But still. Other than the class/grad pics, maybe 5? And because its a small school a lot of people were in there dozens of times. And then I looked through my class picture. 1 person I live with, 1 I was lucky enough to reconnect with over the summer, 1 is in France and I do my best to stay in touch with her, and the rest? Nothing. Ok, for the most part I couldn't care less what they're doing. But really, some of these people I knew for 13 years. 13! That's a majority of my life. We used to see each other 5 days a week, 10 months of the year, for 13 years. And now? Nothing.
So I kinda blame my lack of friends on graduation. But, you're thinking! Adrienne, didn't you have all last year in Charlottetown, at a new school? What about those people? Well, again I blame graduation. Most all of them have left the island, or I lost contact with them in the 5 months I was in Manitoba.
I seem to have such a hard time making friends, and I'm not sure why. I think once you get to know me I'm friendly, and funny, and like able. But I'm so shy when I don't know people, and most of the time I expect them to make the first move. Which doesn't always happen. So I end up, sitting at home. Blogging. And maybe its just because its seems like I've moved around a lot in the past year or so, that its hard to actually settle anywhere and make friends. Because I always knew I would just be leaving again soon.
And I want this to change. But yet again, in 7 months I will be moving again. Back to Manitoba somewhere. Either Brandon or Portage, depending on variables. So really, what's the point in making a bunch of new friends here. I have Allison, and Tim, and Mike here. That's good enough, right? No, I know its not.
Bleh. If I could change one thing about me, I would honestly give myself more courage. I care too much about what people think of me/if they're judging me. Is courage the right word? I dunno. Maybe just self esteem. Do you know where I could pick up some of that?
Thursday, October 14, 2010
What I need
Bleh.
If only I had a time machine, and a backbone. Then I could fix all this.
But alas, I can always dream. Right?
Actually I have very strange dreams. All I remember from last nights is that I had a fish tank of sorts, with 3 different pets/animals in it. Though they weren't normal things, to me they looked like Moshi Monsters. Which is weird. I know. I only know about them because Nicole plays online, and showed me her collection. Anyways, I had one that was crab like, a fishy one, and maybe a flying one? But they all lived in the same tank. Which was filled with water. Weird stuff.
And the only other recent one I can remember is when I had dreadlocks. and I woke up really wanting them, until I remembered how much work they are to get them started and keep them looking good. I don't want to look like a dirty hippy. A clean hippy would be fine, but not a dirty one.
What else.....?
Oh, I've started a workout/exercise plan thing. 3 times a week for now, build it up to 6 (hopefully). Just following along with videos on you tube. Easy enough. I just feel like I've done nothing for two weeks, and if I don't start this I'm going to start gaining weight.
Also, I'm very bored. I haven't found a job which equals no money. So I can't really go out and do anything. And everyone else that I know here is working or going to school all the time. I need a job. I need to get out of this house, but I've nowhere to go.
I need something.
I need someone.
I need him.
If only I had a time machine, and a backbone. Then I could fix all this.
But alas, I can always dream. Right?
Actually I have very strange dreams. All I remember from last nights is that I had a fish tank of sorts, with 3 different pets/animals in it. Though they weren't normal things, to me they looked like Moshi Monsters. Which is weird. I know. I only know about them because Nicole plays online, and showed me her collection. Anyways, I had one that was crab like, a fishy one, and maybe a flying one? But they all lived in the same tank. Which was filled with water. Weird stuff.
And the only other recent one I can remember is when I had dreadlocks. and I woke up really wanting them, until I remembered how much work they are to get them started and keep them looking good. I don't want to look like a dirty hippy. A clean hippy would be fine, but not a dirty one.
What else.....?
Oh, I've started a workout/exercise plan thing. 3 times a week for now, build it up to 6 (hopefully). Just following along with videos on you tube. Easy enough. I just feel like I've done nothing for two weeks, and if I don't start this I'm going to start gaining weight.
Also, I'm very bored. I haven't found a job which equals no money. So I can't really go out and do anything. And everyone else that I know here is working or going to school all the time. I need a job. I need to get out of this house, but I've nowhere to go.
I need something.
I need someone.
I need him.
Friday, October 08, 2010
Some ramblings and complainings
Bloggity bloggity blog....
Haha. This is me, attempting to write a post.
Why?
Well, because I feel that I should. That I'm slacking off in my area of blogging responsibility.
Which is, in my opinion, the absolute wrong reason to write a post. You should write when you have something to write about, not because you just feel like you should.
"So", you are asking (as well as me), "Adrienne Lennox, what do you have to blog about?"
And the answer is simple. Nothing. At least nothing so blog-worthy it will be read by even a hundred people.
But I'm ok with that. What I put in a post is what's important to me, and right now it is
-
-
-
-
----"LIFE IN CHARLOTTETOWN (for the next 8 months or so. maybe 9. depends on what my plans are for the summer and then the rest of my life) WITHOUT HIM (and how are we going to make this work?) AND TRYING TO FIND A JOB IN MY CHOSEN FIELD FOR BEFORE MENTIONED AMOUNT OF TIME (this is proving difficult, and I may end up in retail. But I'm worried that ma and pa will be angry and think I've wasted their money last year) WHILE ALSO HAVING SOMEWHAT OF A SOCIAL LIFE WHEN I LITERALLY HAVE NO MONEY (no, I really don't. I have a line of credit from last year to pay off, rent, phone bill, car payments, credit card, and food. that doesn't leave any, really. Especially being sans job. and Christmas is coming up. bleh)."
Now to address each of those more in depth.
I love Charlottetown. I really do. I think part of it is being close to the water. Its a smallish city, but its big enough to have everything I could need.
But. Most of my friends and family are back on the Prairies. and the odds of convincing all of them to move out here too? Not a chinamen's chance (sorry if you find that racist, or something. just a saying I've picked up from Irwin)
So now I feel like a have to choose between two loves. Them or the city?
But maybe I only love Charlottetown because its really the only place I've live outside of the farm and the rents? Because I feel this way about the camp from this past summer too. But maybe that's for other reasons haha.
And maybe I could fall in love again. With another city.
Because if I don't, I'll have to continue living without Him. or make him leave his family and friends.
And I've been gone from him for a week, and sometimes I don't know how I'm going to do this. I miss everything about him. I miss being able to see him, and feel his arms around me. I miss the smell of his hair, and I'm having trouble remembering the sound of his voice. I miss our jokes, and how he can always make me laugh. I miss how we could hang out all day, not having to do anything, but we'd never run out of things to say. I miss how the more time we spent together, the more we found we have in common. I like discovering more of his like and interests, and then being able to make fun of them :). I miss playing Nintendo, and having him yell at me when I was "doing it wrong".
Finding a job. I hate it. So much. I honestly wish one would fall into my lap, because I dislike doing this so much. I have been trying. I applied to 4 places before we even came out here. Only one reply, and they wanted me to make 'lebanese oriental sweets", which I don't know how to do and they did not specify in the ad. Bleh. garbage
Social. That's probably one word you would not choose to describe me.
I know this, and I'm ok with it.
Hokay, so. Here's the deal.
I hate a) large groups of people b) people I don't know c) people I don't have anything in common with d) loud noises. Mix these all together and you get a social anxiety ball called Adrienne. I honestly think I have a disorder or something. Ask Aaron about the first time I met his friends, I was a wreck. I thought I was going to vomit. Ended up they were all super nice, and I had nothing to worry about. Its experiences like that, that will help me get over this problem.
Which means, for now, I'd much rather curl up on the couch with a cup of coffee (or like tonight, chamomile tea) and watch a movie. Or just be completely alone, read a book or have a bath. I'm not a social animal, and I'm worried about how that will affect our relationship. I'd rather just hang out with a few close friends, than a party full of people I don't know.
But, after awhile it starts to get boring. Especially with it being me and Allison living together. Luckily Tim's here this year. and hopefully I'll get a job soon and meet people there. But for now its just us. But I don't even have money to go to the movies, or out to eat.
So I'm bored already.
And missing everyone.
And feeling super tired all the time.
And I hate the cold.
Haha. This is me, attempting to write a post.
Why?
Well, because I feel that I should. That I'm slacking off in my area of blogging responsibility.
Which is, in my opinion, the absolute wrong reason to write a post. You should write when you have something to write about, not because you just feel like you should.
"So", you are asking (as well as me), "Adrienne Lennox, what do you have to blog about?"
And the answer is simple. Nothing. At least nothing so blog-worthy it will be read by even a hundred people.
But I'm ok with that. What I put in a post is what's important to me, and right now it is
-
-
-
-
----"LIFE IN CHARLOTTETOWN (for the next 8 months or so. maybe 9. depends on what my plans are for the summer and then the rest of my life) WITHOUT HIM (and how are we going to make this work?) AND TRYING TO FIND A JOB IN MY CHOSEN FIELD FOR BEFORE MENTIONED AMOUNT OF TIME (this is proving difficult, and I may end up in retail. But I'm worried that ma and pa will be angry and think I've wasted their money last year) WHILE ALSO HAVING SOMEWHAT OF A SOCIAL LIFE WHEN I LITERALLY HAVE NO MONEY (no, I really don't. I have a line of credit from last year to pay off, rent, phone bill, car payments, credit card, and food. that doesn't leave any, really. Especially being sans job. and Christmas is coming up. bleh)."
Now to address each of those more in depth.
I love Charlottetown. I really do. I think part of it is being close to the water. Its a smallish city, but its big enough to have everything I could need.
But. Most of my friends and family are back on the Prairies. and the odds of convincing all of them to move out here too? Not a chinamen's chance (sorry if you find that racist, or something. just a saying I've picked up from Irwin)
So now I feel like a have to choose between two loves. Them or the city?
But maybe I only love Charlottetown because its really the only place I've live outside of the farm and the rents? Because I feel this way about the camp from this past summer too. But maybe that's for other reasons haha.
And maybe I could fall in love again. With another city.
Because if I don't, I'll have to continue living without Him. or make him leave his family and friends.
And I've been gone from him for a week, and sometimes I don't know how I'm going to do this. I miss everything about him. I miss being able to see him, and feel his arms around me. I miss the smell of his hair, and I'm having trouble remembering the sound of his voice. I miss our jokes, and how he can always make me laugh. I miss how we could hang out all day, not having to do anything, but we'd never run out of things to say. I miss how the more time we spent together, the more we found we have in common. I like discovering more of his like and interests, and then being able to make fun of them :). I miss playing Nintendo, and having him yell at me when I was "doing it wrong".
Finding a job. I hate it. So much. I honestly wish one would fall into my lap, because I dislike doing this so much. I have been trying. I applied to 4 places before we even came out here. Only one reply, and they wanted me to make 'lebanese oriental sweets", which I don't know how to do and they did not specify in the ad. Bleh. garbage
Social. That's probably one word you would not choose to describe me.
I know this, and I'm ok with it.
Hokay, so. Here's the deal.
I hate a) large groups of people b) people I don't know c) people I don't have anything in common with d) loud noises. Mix these all together and you get a social anxiety ball called Adrienne. I honestly think I have a disorder or something. Ask Aaron about the first time I met his friends, I was a wreck. I thought I was going to vomit. Ended up they were all super nice, and I had nothing to worry about. Its experiences like that, that will help me get over this problem.
Which means, for now, I'd much rather curl up on the couch with a cup of coffee (or like tonight, chamomile tea) and watch a movie. Or just be completely alone, read a book or have a bath. I'm not a social animal, and I'm worried about how that will affect our relationship. I'd rather just hang out with a few close friends, than a party full of people I don't know.
But, after awhile it starts to get boring. Especially with it being me and Allison living together. Luckily Tim's here this year. and hopefully I'll get a job soon and meet people there. But for now its just us. But I don't even have money to go to the movies, or out to eat.
So I'm bored already.
And missing everyone.
And feeling super tired all the time.
And I hate the cold.
