Relationships that work are things that I can't comprehend

So yesterday was Valentine's day. And for me, it was almost like every other year. (Except for that one year that I got a rose and wonderful note from a fantastic friend, which made the day more bearable.) Yeah, I have a boyfriend. But he's over 3000 miles away, and all we got to do was talk for a bit. It made me feel strange, about everything. I didn't sleep well last night, laid there by myself and thought. About everything. And I've came to some conclusions. That I don't know how to share. Mostly about my life, happiness, and plans. Gah. I don't even know how to write this out, because I know you'll read it.

As for right now, I'm going to start embracing life. MY life. I'm spending the money I don't have and buying a memory card for that camera. I'm also going to buy a notebook/sketchpad and be creative for myself. This blog is nice, but there is stuff I can't share here. And I like sketching, even if its just doodling sometimes. I need an outlet. I wish I could go to the beach right now. I love it there. But I think there's too much snow.

I want to start jogging as well, I think it'll help with my emotional well being. I don't get outside as much as I should. Working too much, yet not enough. But I can't get up any earlier, already awake at 5:30. So I think I'll start jogging at night, under the cover of darkness.

So after we leave here in May, and return to Manitoba I'm pretty sure I'll spend a month at the farm and then return to Rock Lake for another summer. Which I'm super excited about. After that though, things get messed. I just don't know. I need to do what makes me happy, that much I've decided. Be where I'm going to be happy. I know for sure that I don't want to be in Brandon next year. I don't really have any friends there.

So my two choices (as I see it) are Portage or the Hat. Portage only if I can get a job at Grindstone or Horfrost. I'm not wanting to go back to a minimal wage retail job. And even then I'm not sure. He's going to be going to school in Winnipeg full time. and also maybe working. And all his friends, (Which I sometimes feel as though I don't fit in with) so there won't be a lot of time for me. And I don't want to be alone, that would be just like Brandon.

So Allison is talking about going to the Hat. And I would like to do that too. Be close to her and Jodi. And I know I could get a good job there, and I really do like that city. But then, what about my relationship? Even though I would be in a different province, it would only be about 10 hours away. Which is a lot closer than we are now. We would still be able to see each other, drive and spend weekends and stuff. I'm pretty sure we would be able to make it work. I just need to focus on my happiness. In the end, that's what matters. Right?