Some ramblings and complainings

Bloggity bloggity blog....

Haha. This is me, attempting to write a post.
Why?

Well, because I feel that I should. That I'm slacking off in my area of blogging responsibility.
Which is, in my opinion, the absolute wrong reason to write a post. You should write when you have something to write about, not because you just feel like you should.

"So", you are asking (as well as me), "Adrienne Lennox, what do you have to blog about?"

And the answer is simple. Nothing. At least nothing so blog-worthy it will be read by even a hundred people.

But I'm ok with that. What I put in a post is what's important to me, and right now it is
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----"LIFE IN CHARLOTTETOWN (for the next 8 months or so. maybe 9. depends on what my plans are for the summer and then the rest of my life) WITHOUT HIM (and how are we going to make this work?) AND TRYING TO FIND A JOB IN MY CHOSEN FIELD FOR BEFORE MENTIONED AMOUNT OF TIME (this is proving difficult, and I may end up in retail. But I'm worried that ma and pa will be angry and think I've wasted their money last year) WHILE ALSO HAVING SOMEWHAT OF A SOCIAL LIFE WHEN I LITERALLY HAVE NO MONEY (no, I really don't. I have a line of credit from last year to pay off, rent, phone bill, car payments, credit card, and food. that doesn't leave any, really. Especially being sans job. and Christmas is coming up. bleh)."

Now to address each of those more in depth.

I love Charlottetown. I really do. I think part of it is being close to the water. Its a smallish city, but its big enough to have everything I could need.

But. Most of my friends and family are back on the Prairies. and the odds of convincing all of them to move out here too? Not a chinamen's chance (sorry if you find that racist, or something. just a saying I've picked up from Irwin)

So now I feel like a have to choose between two loves. Them or the city?

But maybe I only love Charlottetown because its really the only place I've live outside of the farm and the rents? Because I feel this way about the camp from this past summer too. But maybe that's for other reasons haha.

And maybe I could fall in love again. With another city.

Because if I don't, I'll have to continue living without Him. or make him leave his family and friends.

And I've been gone from him for a week, and sometimes I don't know how I'm going to do this. I miss everything about him. I miss being able to see him, and feel his arms around me. I miss the smell of his hair, and I'm having trouble remembering the sound of his voice. I miss our jokes, and how he can always make me laugh. I miss how we could hang out all day, not having to do anything, but we'd never run out of things to say. I miss how the more time we spent together, the more we found we have in common. I like discovering more of his like and interests, and then being able to make fun of them :). I miss playing Nintendo, and having him yell at me when I was "doing it wrong".

Finding a job. I hate it. So much. I honestly wish one would fall into my lap, because I dislike doing this so much. I have been trying. I applied to 4 places before we even came out here. Only one reply, and they wanted me to make 'lebanese oriental sweets", which I don't know how to do and they did not specify in the ad. Bleh. garbage

Social. That's probably one word you would not choose to describe me.
I know this, and I'm ok with it.

Hokay, so. Here's the deal.

I hate a) large groups of people b) people I don't know c) people I don't have anything in common with d) loud noises. Mix these all together and you get a social anxiety ball called Adrienne. I honestly think I have a disorder or something. Ask Aaron about the first time I met his friends, I was a wreck. I thought I was going to vomit. Ended up they were all super nice, and I had nothing to worry about. Its experiences like that, that will help me get over this problem.

Which means, for now, I'd much rather curl up on the couch with a cup of coffee (or like tonight, chamomile tea) and watch a movie. Or just be completely alone, read a book or have a bath. I'm not a social animal, and I'm worried about how that will affect our relationship. I'd rather just hang out with a few close friends, than a party full of people I don't know.

But, after awhile it starts to get boring. Especially with it being me and Allison living together. Luckily Tim's here this year. and hopefully I'll get a job soon and meet people there. But for now its just us. But I don't even have money to go to the movies, or out to eat.

So I'm bored already.
And missing everyone.
And feeling super tired all the time.

And I hate the cold.